Before I became a mom, I was so organized. I figured I’d have a file drawer for my kids with a memory from each year, every milestone, each special event…and I’d have framed photos from every month as babies and each year at school. But I’m not THAT mom. I have a couple albums of my first child – and one of them has some photos of the second. And I have a great scrapbook – with most of the things slipped in between the pages. I was also certain that my toddlers would not pull off my glasses, pull out my hair, or tantrum in public. Well, I’m not THAT mom either.
Honestly – I had been a babysitter, camp counselor, RA…became a music therapist and special educator…I was the go-to gal for an entire dorm; I’ve directed casts of 40 tweens in full scale musicals; I’ve helped nurses in the NICU relax the infants enough to sleep and feed, I’ve taught teachers how to focus rooms of active toddlers and preschoolers, and how to communicate with Deaf teens; I’ve provided comfort to dying children and support to grieving parents…I run a small business, I’ve been published, and I teach college students how to believe in themselves, become independent, write clinically, present professionally, and prepare to be music therapists.
I thought I’d be prepared for my first emergency room visit as a parent – calm and cool – but I’m not THAT mom. I figured my children’s clothing closets would be organized by itemized shelves and stay neatly folded, that their bookshelves would loook cute and their desks would be used for drawing or for homework rather than a dumping ground…I thought I might learn to cook and enjoy it…well, I’m not THAT mom either.
Despite all that, I have two wonderful kids – they used to have trouble going to sleep at night, but those long periods of rubbing their backs and singing them lullabies became treasured moments and time to bond over the years. My boys are kind and hard working, they’re loving even though I’m not always the recipient of that love, they’re reliable and responsible, they’re creative and clever. I give my own mom – who is still the best mom in the world but far from perfect – a lot of credit for how I turned out. So yeah, I’ll take a little credit for my kids too – warts and all. I guess maybe I am THAT mom.